


Easy to Love

by Leonidas1754



Category: South Park
Genre: Bisexual Kyle Broflovski, Bisexual Stan Marsh, Brief appearances of other characters - Freeform, Buff Kyle Broflovski, Childhood Friends, Chubby Kyle Broflovski, Feelings Realization, Fluff, He's both, It's not a huge focus but it's referenced a few times, Love Confessions, M/M, No beta we die like Kenny, Underage Drinking, mild depression themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:49:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27668459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leonidas1754/pseuds/Leonidas1754
Summary: Stan comes to a realization about how he really feels about his best friend. Keeping it a secret is his best option, maybe, but things have a way of working out for the better sometimes.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	Easy to Love

**Author's Note:**

> So this was originally intended for Style Week 2020, but this one got out of hand. It's mostly train of thought and definitely not very plot-focused, there's like... something vaguely resembling a plot there. Hope you enjoy either way.

It was never supposed to happen like this. It was never supposed to be  _ Kyle _ . But it was.

All Stan’s mind was filled with these days was  _ Kyle Kyle Kyle. _ Everywhere he looked, everywhere he went, Kyle was there. But he supposed that shouldn’t have been a surprise; they were best friends, and they spent much of their time together. Stan had simply never really thought about it before realizing just how deeply his feelings went.

The worst part was that what made Stan realize his feelings, it was pretty simple, and kind of stupid, in Stan’s eyes. They’d been sleeping in the same bed, Stan spending the night at Kyle’s house, when Stan woke up in the middle of the night. His head had been resting on Kyle’s chest, and Kyle’s arm around his waist.

They’d laughed it off in the morning, of course. When you slept in the same bed, these things were bound to happen. It wasn’t even the first time it had, either. But Stan found he couldn’t get it out of his head, no matter how hard he tried, and he started actually thinking about Kyle more. His smile, his laugh, his freckles, his eyes, his hair, his body. He was beautiful, and Stan was hooked.

He was also freaking out about it. This was  _ Kyle _ , his best friend, his closest confidant. But that was part of why Stan was so affectionate toward him. Because he was so close, because he was just… wonderful. He was smart and blunt and he took no shit, not to mention that physically he was kind of perfect. He was that amazing combination of muscles and chubby that made him a giant teddy bear. The only one who could compare was Clyde, but he was too tall. Kyle was just right, able to perfectly place his chin on top of Stan’s head while standing behind him and envelop Stan in his grasp.

So yea, Stan was stressed. Because Kyle was his best friend and if he found out Stan’s feelings, he’d be uncomfortable and then their friendship would be ruined. And if Stan lost his best friend, he would die.

Okay, maybe that was a little dramatic. That tended to happen with his depression sometimes, but it would hurt a lot, and it would likely be something he never truly recovered from, because Kyle had been there his entire life and he was everywhere in Stan’s life and Stan…

Stan wanted more.

Being with Kyle was like sitting in front of a fireplace, warm and homey and safe. He made Stan feel small and protected, and he would even let Stan sit fairly close to his side and share his food. The only other person who got to do that sort of thing was Kenny, though usually he sat across from Kyle rather than beside him.

“Dude, seriously, eat a little more,” Kyle said one down, frowning. “The only person tinier than you is Butters.”

Stan flushed a little, rolling his eyes. It was true, though. He’d stayed pretty short in spite of his parents’ height, remaining about 5’2” when everyone else had at least three to four inches on him. “You’re starting to sound like your mom,” he jabbed back.

“Eat right and I won’t have to worry about you,” Kyle deadpanned. Then he added, a bit gentler, “I know you have a hard time getting yourself to eat sometimes, and you hate saying anything about it, so…”

Stan felt his insides simply turn to mush. “Okay, okay.” He snagged a few more of Kyle's fries from his lunch tray and nibbled on them while Kenny grinned at him.

Kenny knew, of course he knew. He figured out everything around South Park, and it made Stan really glad Kenny wasn't the object of his affections. Stan also noticed him starting to leave the two of them alone together more often, as if they didn't spend most of the time attached at the hip in the first place.

Stan was half grateful for it and half hated it, and if Kyle noticed Kenny's actions, he didn't let on. He just let Stan remain close. He didn't seem to mind when Stan leaned into his side, or touched his arm. But they were just like that, these days. Physical contact helped with Stan's depression and Kyle was one of the few people he was comfortable enough with, so he let Stan be close.

Stan wondered what it’s be like to be held by Kyle, settled in his arms. It might be nice, to sleep on his chest, or to be pressed under his weight. Maybe he could…

No. Stan couldn’t, he couldn’t risk it. But he couldn’t help himself. Stan couldn’t help but want nothing more than to be close to him. So he’d wrap his hands loosely around Kyle’s arm. Sometimes he’d let his hands drift down toward Kyle’s wrist- but never further, no matter how deeply he wanted Kyle to hold his hand.

“You’ve been acting a little odd, lately,” Kyle told him as they walked home from school.

Stan froze up a little, then pried his hands away from Kyle’s arm, stepping away from him. “Sorry.”

“Huh? Oh, no, no, Stan, it’s okay!” Kyle assured him quickly. “I didn’t mean it as you were bothering me or anything. It’s just… something seems different with you, and I’m curious.”

Stan glanced up at Kyle to find him smiling, albeit with a tinge of worry. After a moment’s hesitation, Stan slipped close again, resting his cheek on Kyle’s shoulder. “I’ll stop if it’s too weird.”

“It’s not, promise. Have you been cold lately?”

“Huh? O-Oh, yea. I just can’t seem to get warm,” He fibbed. “You’re a furnace, though.”

“Mm, maybe your coat’s gotten too thin… You should tell your mom,” Kyle mused.

“Yea, probably. I don’t wanna bother her… Money’s been tight as it is.”

“Ah, right…” Kyle hummed, seeming to think it over. “Come over, I might have an idea.”

“Okay,” Stan agreed immediately.

In the end, Kyle gave Stan one of his old coats. It was large and heavy and had originally been saved for when Ike got older, but it was looking more and more like Ike was growing tall and lanky, so the jacket likely wouldn’t fit him. It was too big for Stan, but he accepted it anyway, because he didn’t want to admit his fib, and, well…

He wanted to keep it because it felt like what he imagined Kyle’s hugs might be like. He definitely felt pathetic for it, but it was hard to resist. Then again, now he’d have less of an excuse for pressing close to Kyle. It was a trade-off he’d have to deal with. And the new coat really was warmer than his old one.

But Kyle didn’t bring up his closeness again, so Stan was able to keep close to him without making more excuses.

Stan was starting to notice other people giving him funny looks, too. It made him self-conscious of how close he stood to Kyle. Clyde kept giving him these giant smiles whenever he looked over, which usually resulted in Token swatting Clyde and mouthing  _ ‘Ignore him’ _ at Stan. Butters would always smile in that way he did when he was trying to encourage someone, whenever he saw that Stan had seen him watching, and most others seemed embarrassed to get caught.

Stan wished he could ask why, but he was a bit afraid to find they’d caught onto his secret, and what they might tell Kyle if they had.

And then, one night, Stan invited Kenny and Kyle over to drink and watch movies. His parents were out for the weekend, and Stan knew where his dad kept the key to the liquor cabinet, but Kyle had made his displeasure about Stan drinking alone very clear, so Stan figured it might be better just to invite his friends over. But when the time for them to arrive drew near, Kenny sent him a text.

_ ‘Sorry dude gotta stay home and help my sis!’ _

Stan knew Kenny loved his little sister more than life itself, but the timing was a little too convenient for Stan to believe it was entirely genuine. Bastard.

So Kyle showed up alone, apparently already aware of Kenny’s cancellation. “Yea, he texted me too. But it’s fine, right? We can still do drinking games or whatever with the two of us.”

Of course they could, but that wasn’t really the problem, was it? Stan wanted to scream, but he kept it inside and tried to just relax. They played a dumb and light drinking game while watching movies that ended up with Kyle taking far more shots than Stan. It was mostly a dumb game of guessing what would happen, and Stan was pretty sure Kyle was getting things wrong on purpose, but it was funny to watch him get tipsy anyway.

“Hey Stan,” he said as one of the movies ended and Stan grabbed the remote to turn on a different one, “hold up.”

“Huh? What, don’t wanna watch anymore? We don’t have to do the drinking game,” Stan pointed out.

“No, I know, I just… I wanted to talk to you.”

Terror seized Stan’s heart. “About what?”

Kyle shuffled closer and wrapped his arms around Stan, tugging him close. Then he closed his eyes and rested his cheek on Stan’s head. “I wanted to say that I’m just… I’m really glad you’re in my life, dude. You’re like… The third most important person in my life.”

Stan paused, listening to Kyle as his cheeks grew redder. “Only third?” he asked with a small laugh.

“Sorry bud, my brother and my mom come first and second. If it wasn’t for them, you’d be first.”

“I  _ guess _ I can’t fault that,” Stan joked, letting himself relax in Kyle’s arms.

Kyle chuckled above him. “You’ll come visit me in Boulder, right..?”

“Of course. I wish I could go with you, but…”

“You… You could, if you wanted. I was talking to Token and Clyde- they’re gonna rent a house together with all the scholarship money they’re getting, and as long as they pitch in, they’ll let others join them. I’m sure it’d be fine with them if you came along,” Kyle said.

“But… I dunno if I’ll be able to handle classes, dude…”

“You can take online ones, to get more used to the course load,” Kyle suggested. “And I could help you.”

Stan frowned. “But… I… I don’t want to hold you back, man. I’ll just be a burden on you.”

“Hey,” Kyle said sharply, raising his head. “Don’t say that shit. I don't wanna hear that come out of your damn mouth ever again.”

Stan winced, glancing up at Kyle. “Sorry. But really, dude… You can’t deny my being there would make things harder for you.”

Kyle sighed, looking at Stan forlornly. “You really don’t get it…”

“Get what..?” Stan’s mouth went dry as he realized how close they were. All he really had to do was just… lean up. But he didn’t.

Kyle pulled back after a moment. “Sorry. I’m… Forget I said anything. About any of it.”

“... Alright.”

Kyle didn’t put Stan down, so Stan just turned on another movie. They didn’t drink anymore, though. And when it got too late, Stan quietly asked if he wanted to stay, and Kyle agreed.

He was so close, and it occurred to Stan that guys their age didn’t typically sleep in the same bed like they did. But he didn’t want to question it, lest Kyle decide to stop. So he laid on his side, facing away from Kyle, feeling the other’s weight and presence. It was always easier to fall asleep with Kyle at his side.

He awoke in the middle of the night at the sound of Kyle’s voice and the feeling of his warmth. His arm was around Stan’s waist again, though it was removed as Kyle rolled on his back. Stan could hear a soft vibrating before Kyle’s voice sounded. “Hello?” he whispered.

Stan realized he was on the phone. Who the hell would be calling this late at night?

“Kenny, seriously, it’s like… What the fuck are you doing waking me at two in the morning? … Of course we were in bed. … Yes, together.” Kyle murmured the last part more quietly, an embarrassment in his tone. “Stan? He’s…”

Stan felt the bed shift, and knew Kyle was leaning over him. On impulse, he stayed still and pretended to still be asleep. He didn’t need to interrupt the conversation or anything, and really, he didn’t want to talk to Kenny at that moment, still annoyed with him for bailing on them in some stupid attempt to leave Stan and Kyle alone together.

“... Yea, he’s still asleep,” Kyle whispered, sitting back up. “Honestly, you don’t need to pull this shit. We spend a lot of time together as it is. And I doubt it’ll hasten anything.”

Hasten anything? Stan’s curiosity was piqued. Kyle clearly seemed to know what Kenny was up to, so maybe Stan had something about it wrong.

“It was fun. You should’ve joined us,” Kyle teased quietly. “I did… I tried suggesting he join me at Boulder. I think I jumped the gun a little bit, there. He said… God, he said one of those things again, one of those terrible self-deprecating things that he doesn’t even think twice about. It kills me.”

Stan had called himself a burden. That had to be what Kyle was talking about. Stan felt a little bad, with how much it apparently hurt Kyle to hear.

“He’s...” Kyle trailed off with a sigh. “He talks like he’s not worth having around, but he… He really has no idea just how easy it is to love him.”

Stan’s eyes snapped open. That couldn’t be right. He… He was hearing things, Kyle couldn't have said that, it was impossible.

“Wait…” Kyle whispered. “Oh… Oh  _ shit. _ ”

Well. There was no more acting. Stan slowly propped himself up on his hands, glancing back at Kyle, who had gone pale. Stan had no idea what to say, so he didn’t say anything, instead keeping his back to Kyle. His mind was reeling.

“I’ll have to call you back, Kenny,” Kyle said. Stan heard him place the phone down. “Stan..? Did… Did you hear that?”

“Yea.”

“How much..?”

“All of it. Didn’t wanna interrupt. Or talk to Kenny.” Stan shifted, pulling his legs up to his chest.

Kyle placed a hand on his back. “Are you okay..?”

“I don't know,” Stan admitted. “I don’t… understand it. Is that why Kenny’s been leaving us alone together?”

Kyle groaned. “I told him you’d noticed. And… No, not exactly. He didn’t do it for me so much as he did it for you.”

Stan finally turned, his confusion overriding any hesitance. “For me?” he asked, trying to understand. Originally, Stan had thought Kenny was leaving them alone because of Stan’s feelings. He was leaving them alone for Stan, but Kyle knew what he was doing and why..? Finally, Stan’s eyes widened in horror. “You knew.”

It seemed he didn’t need to clarify for Kyle to know what he was talking about. “Yes,” he confirmed.

“How long?”

Kyle shrugged. “Years? A long time.”

“Years?” Stan’s brow furrowed. “But… I… I only…”

A soft, knowing smile painted Kyle’s lips. “You’ve only felt this way recently? Or have you only  _ realized _ it recently?”

Stan ran a hand through his hair, already getting a headache. “I… I don’t know, okay, I just… What about you!?”

“What  _ about _ me?” Kyle asked.

“You said… Y’know,  _ that _ .” Stan couldn’t repeat it, he couldn't even think about it without his face burning fiercely.

Kyle reached up, gently cupping his cheek. “I meant it. Every word.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Stan asked, trying to stay angry, to keep the subject off himself.

Kyle shook his head a little. “I didn’t want to put any pressure on you, especially when I know that even if you’re very emotional, you don’t always process your own emotions in a timely manner. Besides, it’s not as though I minded waiting.”

Stan closed his eyes, unable to help leaning into Kyle’s hand. “... I thought you’d get too uncomfortable, if you knew.”

“That’s understandable. I’m definitely not upset at you for hiding it or anything. When I noticed you acting a little different, I thought you might’ve been starting to realize. But you already knew, huh?”

Stan laughed softly as he opened his eyes again, glancing up at Kyle. “So you knew the cold excuse was bullshit and gave me one of your old coats anyway?”

Kyle laughed. “Well, you took it, didn’t you? And I’ll admit, I like being able to take care of you in whatever ways I can. It’s not often you give me a good excuse like that.”

“Asshole,” Stan grumbled halfheartedly.

“Heh. I am curious, though… What is it that made you start realizing..?” Kyle asked.

Stan laughed a little. “Well, the exact thing that woke me up tonight. Your arm around me.” He sighed as he thought back. “... Fuck,  _ everyone _ knew before I did, didn’t they?”

“What makes you say that?”

“I’ve noticed people staring at us. Butters keeps giving me those little grins he does when he tries to cheer people up, and Clyde is just… Clyde.”

Kyle laughed. “Clyde’s been very enthusiastic about encouraging me. The guy’s really grown to be a completely hopeless romantic. I also think he’s projecting slightly. Because if anyone’s a bigger dumbass in these sorts of scenarios, it’s him.”

Stan couldn’t help but laugh at that. “God, I feel like an idiot.”

“It’s fine, Stan. Would it make you feel any better to know everyone who gave a shit was rooting for you?”

“A little,” Stan admitted. “Better than them rooting against me, I guess. Can… Can you say that again? But to me, this time..?”

A look of confusion passed over Kyle’s face briefly, only to be replaced with embarrassment. “Really?”

“What, you can say it to Kenny but not me?” Stan pouted a little.

Kyle huffed. “Don’t make that face. It’s a lot different saying it about you than saying it to you.”

Stan pouted more, drawing upon something Bebe had taught him way back during a middle school camping trip. He’d never have guessed he might use it senior year on Kyle of all people. He quivered his lower lip, sniffing softly.

Kyle stifled a laugh. “S-Stop that, did Bebe teach you that?”

Trying to hold the face was useless in the burst of giggles that escaped Stan. “How’d you know?”

“She pulled that shit on me herself before it finally got through to her that she had no chance with me.”

“Oh my  _ god _ ,” was Stan’s only reply, trying not to laugh aloud lest he potentially wake his parents. 

Kyle chuckled, then surprised Stan by wrapping an arm around him and tugging him close again. “Stan?”

Stan looked up, a bit startled at the sudden closeness. “Uh-huh?”

Kyle squeezed Stan and lightly kissed his cheek. “You really do have no idea how easy it is to love you.”

If Stan had been standing, his knees likely would’ve buckled from how quickly he turned to jello upon hearing that. All he could do was press his face into Kyle’s neck. “Christ,” he laughed out, soft and incredulous. “You… You could have anyone.”

“I could. And I like you the most. So try not to worry about the rest, okay? Let’s go back to bed. We can talk about it more in the morning, or we can go kick Kenny’s ass, or whatever. So long as it’s us.”

“Us,” Stan echoed. “I… I really like that.”

“Good.” 

Kyle pulled Stan down onto the bed, letting them both lay out more without forcing Stan to move. Stan adjusted himself anyway, wiggling a bit so Kyle’s arm wouldn’t be completely cut from circulation under him. He felt Kyle angle an arm up to play with his hair a little. And in a way, this wasn’t anything all that new, which made Stan feel even sillier in a way, but he pushed it aside for the moment. Instead, he focused on Kyle’s warmth, the way he felt against and around Stan.

It felt  _ right. _ Like maybe, this was where Stan had been all along.


End file.
